Thursday, June 26, 2008

Kevin witnesses a public shaming

It's been a few weeks since I started my job as a glorified secretary in a clinical research lab and I've finally settled into the daily ho-hum routine.  Every Monday we have a lab meeting where researchers go over their progress and a single research fellow presents his or her data to the group.  So I was in one of these meetings one day and the conversation came to the status of a certain patient info database that one lab tech was responsible for maintaining.  It became quickly apparent that the database was woefully underpopulated and outdated, much to the ire of my PI.  Before I give transcript of what followed, I need to tell everyone that my PI has a way of calling out every ouce of bullshit anyone ever says without a single smirk or grin.  Essentially, he's completely deadpan and unabashed in saying you suck.  Let's continue:

PI: So you haven't been updating the database is that correct?

LT: Well... no... I try to update the files of the patients already in there and I think that may be a lot of work, I go back and forth between two computers bla bla bla (at this point I tuned out).

PI: So you haven't been entering any new patients

LT: No

PI: So what exactly do you do...


LT: Well... I'm updating the people that are already (blablabla basically the same thing all over again)

PI: Ok ok, regardless of that.  By your estimate, how long would it take to fully populate the database with all the patient files

LT: *Long pensive silence* 2 weeks

PI: No, seriously.  How long

LT: *Looking even more awkward* If I just enter the most basic data... 3 weeks

PI: *Smirking slightly* Ok, if you say so.  But I think you're just telling me what I want to hear rather than what is realistic.


So basically I just saw the infamous scene of Office Space reinacted in real life without the employee blowup.  And now I live in fear of disappointing my boss.

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