David and Kevin are scientists

As some of you know, we are both currently completing summer research projects within our medical school’s Dept. of Surgery. Our studies surround two different surgical procedures and both involve, at least in part, retrospective assessments of patient pain and/or quality of life following the respective operations.

These positions have put us in a very science-y mood, providing the impetus for our own groundbreaking experiment. Standing on the shoulders of previous scientific giants – Mendel, Pascal, this dude – we have decided to explore the relationship between the quality of our own lives and the consumption of one of their primary staples: beef stew.


Typical subjective assessments like visual analog scales or “numbers” clearly will not suffice for science of this magnitude. As such, we will employ a modified instrument using real-life QoL markers that everyone can understand. The upper bound is defined as “post-baby-saving euphoria,” while the lower bound is set at “really, really sad clown.” If those aren’t intuitive, can’t-miss distinctions, then I’m going to quit science right now.


Will unspeakable amounts of beef stew lead to a glorious potato, beef, and sodium-induced stupor or a cesspool of potato, beef, and sodium-induced self-loathing and despair? Only time will tell.


One thing is certain – alert Stockholm. They’ll want to know about this one…