Sunday, May 4, 2008

David Presents His #2 Pet Peeve: Considers It Tomorrow At Midnight Guy

It should be painfully (delightfully?) obvious that 1) Kevin and I enjoy ranting about random things; and 2) these rants are so inane and unproductive that each person who reads them finds himself or herself a bit dumber as a result. This bodes particularly poorly for Julia, whose previously ludicrous 200 IQ is probably at -5 now.

Nonetheless, in an effort to continue the general dumbing down of all those with whom I anonymously associate on the intertubes, I present my second greatest pet peeve of all: Considers It 'Tomorrow' At Midnight Guy (MG, because I'll definitely get tired of writing 'CITAMG' 20x in the next three paragraphs).

On the surface, MG probably doesn't seem like he'd be that annoying. After all, the next day does officially start at 12:00AM and, perhaps more importantly, you might find distinctions about when 'tomorrow' truly begins completely insignificant in the grand scheme of things.

Well, then, you'd be wrong. Sure, considering it to be tomorrow at the stroke of midnight doesn't necessarily hurt anyone, but MG goes far beyond this simple interpretation and uses it for pure evil. Most frequently, MG derails a random late-night social situation by being an unnecessary time-stickler:

Hero: Man, it's really late, I can't believe I have to get up so early tomorrow.
MG: You mean today.
Hero: What?
MG: You have to get up TODAY. It's past midnight, so it's actually the next day.
Hero: Gawd, why are you like this?

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Or, MG can make typical scheduling excessively difficult:

Hero (at 2AM): OK, so we're meeting tomorrow to discuss the project?
MG: You are correct, sir.
Hero: OK, later.
MG: See you Wednesday.
Hero: Wait, what? I thought we were meeting tomorrow...isn't that Tuesday?
MG: Today's Tuesday, tomorrow's Wednesday. Check your watch.
Hero: OK, you obviously knew, based on the context, that I was talking about Tuesday. You know on Wednesdays I teach that Being Awesome class and on Thursdays and Fridays I save babies.
MG: Yeah, but tomorrow's Wednesday.
Hero: Seriously...why?

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Thus, MG creates a significant hassle where there is absolutely no need for one. Everyone who knows him has to adjust their expectations purely because of his outlandish anal-retentiveness. No one really benefits, people are routinely confused, everyone dies a little bit inside, and sometimes people show up to meetings when no one else is there.

OK, end rant. It's way past midnight and I need to wake up early today...

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

do you spend all your time judging other people? I'd be willing to bet you're pretty insecure...must be scary constantly worrying other people will judge you like you judge them.

Anonymous said...

clearly they're just joking around. lighten up.

Anonymous said...

no, they've made like 10 posts with shit like this in them. who goes out of their way to make a blog like that? weird.

Anonymous said...

I KNOW! People ranting on the internet? With comedic effect? What sort of madness is this?!

You know how we should solve this problem? Give everyone a gun. A lot of us may die in the first year... but I think everyone will be a LOT nicer after that, don't u? I know this is not the first time I've suggested this...

~Julia

jadamsuw said...

They must be doing something right, because you've clearly read at least nine previous posts in order to come to this conclusion.

The simple truth is, yes, they DO spend all of their time judging other people, and, yes, they ARE pretty insecure... but that has little to do with the content of their blog and everything to do with the fact that they're just generally miserable people, and I refuse to let anyone talk about people I facetiously refer to as my friends in that manner!

But, no, they're not worried others will return the favor, thank you for asking, Takes The Internet Far Too Seriously Guy.

Don't worry, guys. I got your backs.

K said...

Wait I'm confused. Is somebody judging us for judging people?

D said...

mmmm, confused judging...

Jake said...

reading this post i couldn't help thinking of this guy, perhaps the biggest MG in the history of television.

http://youtube.com/watch?v=geZoES9KQ-Q

the whole clip is pure gold, but if you're really pressed for time fast forward to 2:20